Judge Not Lest You Be Judged

Or how to try and not kill the religious wing-nut in your online Mommy group.

I recently joined thirty something moms group on invitation from one of the ladies from the photo blog I'm on. I thought "Hey this should be fun! Mum's from different countries and back grounds, we can learn from each other!"

Someone hand me the dunce cap and send me to my corner. I am an idiot. There is one member of this group I'll call Bessy. Bessy is a devout Christian from some where in the midwestern United States. Bessy has some strongly held opinions about sex.

Ok lets be frank here I am a very sexual person. I have a freaking tool box full of "toys". The Man in my life is as adventerous as they come. We enjoy sex. We enjoy playing. We do stuff that I'm sure some would classifiy as "kinky".

I had no issue with the fact that this woman was uncomfortable with this topic, it was how she expressed this discomfort that left me gobsmacked. She would call things dirty or slutty to her but was swearing she didn't think that about us, though her wording was steering in that direction. She would ask for clarification on items and then would say our answers made her physically ill. She even admitted to eating a whole pizza because the conversation had stressed her out so much and then said she purged it because she knew it was too much food. And she thinks we're all laughing at her.

Seriously, I'm not laughing, I am crying that this woman in her 30's is so wounded, so twisted in her view of the world. I want to shake her and say, your God loves you no matter what and your church has no right to make you feel the shame of joy in sex that isn't in missionary position.

Where do we go from here?

This isn't where we intended to be....

When I started this blog I was hoping to do something like my friend Karl's blog. Fun, quirky informative. Let's be honest though, I'm a working Mum with the energy at the end of the day of belly button lint. I've been reading Dawn of True Wife Confessions personal blog, and it made me realize, ok I've not got a hope in hell of being an informative blogger like Karl, but maybe just maybe I can be a witty and deceptively simple blogger like Dawn. Because what she does isn't easy. It's one thing to to go balls out like she does, it's quite another to pull it off with panache and style as she does. So let's see where this new direction takes us shall we?

The Obsession Continues....

So Halloween was a blast. This was the first time I've dressed up in years I'd forgotten how I'd missed it. I'm sitting counting the days until Dark Knight releases to Blu-ray... no DVD for this fangirl.

A small confession...

One of the reason's I started this blog was in the hope that someone I hurt very badly would find it. Daily I wonder how this person is doing and wish I could go back and fix what I feel I wrought. The fault was not entirely mine, but I did do a lot of emotional damage. I haven't spoken to this person in any way shape or form since the day they tried to kill themselves in front of my house. I still harbour a great deal of anger for that and if I ever do see them I will be hard pressed not to knock their block off before asking "Are you ok?"

My Undoing

This is the costume, that I was supposed to be getting off eBay. Small problem, though my jeans all say I'm a 29 waist which is the right size for this gorgeous creation, the tape measure says other wise. And this is not a purchase I can afford to get wrong as this bad boy goes for a pretty penny. Artifice Clothing that makes it does do custom sizes but there just isn't time...

I'm Batman

Shortpacked is a comic about a toy geek such as myself (though dude he is soooo more hardcore than me) and his coworkers who work at a toy store. Unless you're into toys, like Transformers and G.I. Joe and love Batman this may be a little hard for you to follow the humour. However, if you are like me and love all thing's 80's and think Batman and Ronald Regan are mines for comedy gold? Go start at the beginning of the archive... really you'll love it!

For My Starlet

Today is the first session of mediation between the soon to be ex and me concerning the custody and care of the 4 year old Starlet. I have been trying to make sure this is all about her and not about me and him, but anyone who has been through a divorce knows it can be hard. I made a list of things I want addressed:

• Children of Divorce course to better understand The Starlet’s emotional needs in this situation
  
• A schedule that works for The Starlet.\The Starlet \doesn’t seem to cope well with the later bedtimes and early mornings on the days she has dinner with Dad.Can we reduce this to one day a week to better streamline her schedule? Every second weekend is still working fine
  
• I would like Primary custody.I am concerned I cannot get The Startlet medical attention either physical or mental with out two signatures
  
• Ex keeps mentioning moving to Victoria?
• Christmas holidays (not comfortable with her going to Palm Springs for 3 weeks and not seeing her on Christmas)
• School and daycare “not convenient” to Ex vs. where The Starlet is comfortable
  

I don't care either way about child support whether he has to pay me or I have to pay him, it's mandated by federal law. I just want her looked after. I want him to actually take her for the full time he has her (which he claims isn't much on one hand and then drops her off early so he can have a nap). Frankly though I'm still scared of him. He never laid a hand on me or the Starlet, but his mood swings and drug use make me want to take her and hide her. And all the mediator keeps saying is "Let's look to the future and not keep dredging up the past." The past is why I left and is why I should be looking after our daughter, does that mean nothing?