Photo Project Part Deux

So the second year of the photo project I worked on last year is up and running. Envisage is the much cherished project of Sarah a lovely lady who I met via the first year of the project. I now socialize with quite a number of these ladies on-line and I am honoured to know them all. The project got off to a wee bit of a rocky start due to a former contributor who had stepped up to help Sarah. She was allowing her teenage daughters to participate... great, fine, cool, we can see the world through the eyes of some younger women. But sadly the woman in question decided that meant we needed to consider if the pictures we were going to submit were appropriate. Yeah well it raised the hackles of A LOT of us. But we got clarification that she was only concerned about explicit content. Which still caused a lot of us to chafe and get out of sorts. I mean seriously if you don't want your daughters seeing something don't give them permission to work on an adult project. The long and the short of it is some of us decided to submit pictures of our "toys". Some were poking fun at the woman, others had no idea and just submitted them and then there was me who was actually trying to get a rise out of a completely different woman who had told me sex toys were disgusting. I know I'm terribly mature. And then the "penis" picture was posted. The end result of this provocative image was the mother and contributor went postal. She even sent an email asking the darling Vixen to take down the photo and that Sarah agreed. Sarah believes in free speech and no censorship, do we really think Sarah agreed? After an afternoon of drama the woman quit and took her daughters with her. I'm sad as she was fun and her daughters were taking so phenomenal shots. But I'm glad as now we can take our photos of life as it is for us with out questioning.

I'm alive... no really...

So my delivery of my second daughter wasn't exactly picturesque as you can see. The head cold I was battling for three weeks decided to grow into a big bad case of pneumonia. Long story short they thought I had H1N1 and I was forced by my body to have another c-section, which led to me being bagged and isolated in ICU for 4 days. Nothing says panic and suck like waking up with out your baby, tied to your bed with a tube stuck down your throat.

I am now at the six week mark and am MUCH MUCH better. My newest daughter who doesn't have a nickname yet is a joy and The Starlet has started kindergarten. Oh and lost a tooth... DEAR GODS WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?! So now I'm more active and more with it I will be trying very hard to update more often... no really...

Bad Parent Alert Here

So there has been some controversy lately in the province I currently call home. It surrounds our Finance Minister making these comments about her children "They've understood perfectly well that when you're raising children, you don't both go off to work and leave them for somebody else to raise," Evans said. "This is not a statement against daycare. It's a statement about their belief in the importance of raising children properly."

I like an idiot, typed before thinking on my dear friend Karl's blog White Noise after having posted about my extravegant purchase of a Trophy Queen Diaper bag. I bought said bag with gift/bonus money on sale... not full price. That aside I answered the Anonymous commenter who claimed it was only people who weren't willing to make sacrifices that had an issue with the Finance Minister's comments, without thinking and I got spanked for it by said Anonymous commenter. (Incidently Anonymous commenters piss me off royal, have the guts to own your comments people)

I have savings, I could stay home if we didn't want a bigger house for the approaching baby. We live in a 2 bedroom condo that is currently underwater mortgage wise because of the housing market crash. Sure we could stay here, but I want something better for my daughters... say like a yard for them to play in. I live in one of the more exspensive Canadian cities, I would love to move somewhere smaller but my career and my partner's career don't lend themselves to small towns as they don't tend to need IT support people and software programmers. Besides the fact my oldest daughter's father lives here and I can't just whisk her away from her father. And I have budgeted and bought all my baby items used or on sale.

I shouldn't have to justifiy myself, but people like our Finance Minister make me feel I have to. Besides which? I'm not SAHM material. I like adult interaction. Even if I were to stay at home, Mommy Groups and play dates aren't enough for me. I would have to do something part-time, my writing, consulting, something. And I don't think this makes me a bad parent. The Starlet is well loved, well cared for, she is smart, has great manners and knows her parents will drop everything for her when needed. I don't think she is "lacking" because I work outside the home. Her daycare teachers say she is a joy and one of their best helpers, and empathetic to her peers. It takes a whole community to raise a child doesn't it?

Divine Bags

Trophy Queen is another of my weaknesses. These bags are delicious. Vintage style car vinyl in fabulous colours to make awesome, near indestructible purses. I have a smaller purse and treated myself to a fabulous diaper bag in red with a black racking stripe. They are all lined in leopard print and seriously are great bags to have. And did I mention they do custom orders? In Calgary you can get them at Blame Betty and can do your custom order through them too!

Doing More

As my due date with the fabulous Miss gets closer I am re-examining myself. When the Starlet was born I lost myself for a while... I mean seriously what mother doesn't? For me it was more so than some women because of the complete disconnect from my ex. Most new fathers experience issues with having a new baby, I mean hell I was having issues with having a new baby! But he pulled away and would actually say he was jealous and "You love the baby more." I hardly saw him for her first 3 months of life he was out partying so much... while unemployed... yeah I picked a winner apparently. So The Starlet became my life, being everything to her became what I was. And I'll be honest bad move. Being a Mummy is truly amazing but being a Mummy to the exclusion of all else to block out the fact the rest of your life is in shambles? Yeah, not so smart. So where does this ramble take me?

I'm making a promise to myself to update here once a week... once a week I will come here and either rant, rave or just bore you whoever you are to tears... But I will take this small space in the grand space that is the internet and sing my song.

My New Obsession

These beautiful dolls from Bamboletta are my latest obsession. I got one for The Starlet for her birthday and she adores her. I wasn't expecting the reaction of pure joy The Starlet had to this doll. Heck I wasn't expecting my reaction. They are all natural dolls in the Waldorf style. Their outfits are hand made and they are amazing in the little details. Christine creator and head of the mama brigade who makes these darlings is a sweet and amazing lady who had put up with my incessant questions and even offered to send me extra shoes when I enquired about purchasing extras for the doll I got for my daughter. I'm now hoping my next daughter will be responsible at an early age so I can get her one too!

And Here We Are

Tomorrow my daughter will turn 5. I'm sitting here with my second daughter still inside me and I'm being a silly twit and getting weepy for the baby my first daughter was. I get glimers of the woman my Starlet will be and while I swell with pride my heart screams "STOP GROWING UP!"

But in all honesty despite the ups and downs of my separation and divorce, she is proving to be a wonderful little person. She is considerate and funny. She assimilates knowledge I don't even realize she's picking up. She is telling me how she will be an excellent big sister to her soon to be half sister. In short despite the pangs of regret at the baby that is slipping away I am proud of the person she is becoming.

Happy Birthday Starlet. I love you to the moon and back.