For My Starlet

Today is the first session of mediation between the soon to be ex and me concerning the custody and care of the 4 year old Starlet. I have been trying to make sure this is all about her and not about me and him, but anyone who has been through a divorce knows it can be hard. I made a list of things I want addressed:

• Children of Divorce course to better understand The Starlet’s emotional needs in this situation
  
• A schedule that works for The Starlet.\The Starlet \doesn’t seem to cope well with the later bedtimes and early mornings on the days she has dinner with Dad.Can we reduce this to one day a week to better streamline her schedule? Every second weekend is still working fine
  
• I would like Primary custody.I am concerned I cannot get The Startlet medical attention either physical or mental with out two signatures
  
• Ex keeps mentioning moving to Victoria?
• Christmas holidays (not comfortable with her going to Palm Springs for 3 weeks and not seeing her on Christmas)
• School and daycare “not convenient” to Ex vs. where The Starlet is comfortable
  

I don't care either way about child support whether he has to pay me or I have to pay him, it's mandated by federal law. I just want her looked after. I want him to actually take her for the full time he has her (which he claims isn't much on one hand and then drops her off early so he can have a nap). Frankly though I'm still scared of him. He never laid a hand on me or the Starlet, but his mood swings and drug use make me want to take her and hide her. And all the mediator keeps saying is "Let's look to the future and not keep dredging up the past." The past is why I left and is why I should be looking after our daughter, does that mean nothing?